Thursday, February 15, 2018

Is it a gift or a curse?





Is it a gift or a curse?
Pain rips through her body and bores deep into her soul. It vibrates to the tips of her toes and to the fingertips. Even to the ends of her long dark hair. She needs it to stop because it could kill her. How can she make it stop? Has she ever felt this kind of pain? She can't remember. All she knows is that it is killing her now. Why? Can't she be strong?
     Pain rips through her body and bores deep into her soul. It vibrates to the tips of her toes and to the fingertips. Even to the ends of her long dark hair. She needs it to stop because it could kill her. How can she make it stop? Has she ever felt this kind of pain? She can't remember. All she knows is that it is killing her now. Why? Can't she be strong?
     It is embarrassing, and she wants to know why people cause pain in other people. It's not right. Do they honestly think that they can get rid of their pain by projecting it onto someone else? It's not fair. Make it stop. She thinks she should be able to stop it, but realizes that if it is not her responsibility, though, who would do it? She should be strong enough. She knows she is different. Not because she feels pain- everybody feels pain. But wait! Narcissists don't feel pain. And they want to feel normal which they can't– and aren't.       
     Imagine a world –even if it were just your own personal world– without pain. She knows she is different because she feels other people's pain. It burns like it is burning in her now. She cries. She must do something to help others stop hurting and now she feels the pain spreading through her own body, heart, and soul. She doesn't know how to make it stop but she knows she must find out. People cannot survive pain like this! We are only human. Think of all the things people do to relieve pain. The pain is a wide-open white space; searing, moving, flexing, and reshaping itself. She needs to enter it, but it hurts, really hurts, to try to move into it. Because she is different.
     Carly is an empath. She feels other people's pain. She is acutely aware of being different than most people but has no idea what to do about it. If it isn't enough to be in constant turmoil because the world is so full of maliciousness, hate, and evil, 
     Carly seems to have no trouble finding plenty of pain of her own. She is a joyous soul yet deeply intuitive and introspective. 

What will she do with her gift, if you can call it that? 
How will she survive the trials and challenges 
that she walks right into all the time?
 Can a person so sensitive tolerate so much ill will? 

     All Carly has ever done is love. She loves to learn and grow. She loves all people, big and small, dark or light, sad or happy. She is as close to being free of judgement and prejudice as a person can be. But Carly is a sociopath magnet. Maybe these emotional vampires sense her strong sensitivity and empathy. Perhaps Carly is a target because she is genuinely good. The problem is: Carly has no idea how to defend herself or fight back.
     Carly is catapulted head first into a nightmare. This nightmare, however, is really happening. Or is it?


Russell Vann
Author
GhettoBastard1968@gmail.com
PO Box 1223
Conifer Colorado 80433-1223
USA

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